Gardening misadventures of Dixiebell

[dixiebell]

 Round one
The tiller won! (tries to get all the dirt out of nostrils)

Round two
Ha! I won! One flower bed tilled, and ready to be planted.
Take that you fucking little woman hating tiller from hell!

 
 I have a lot to learn about gardening, but I'm getting there. My dad dropped off his tiller a couple of days ago. He gave me a few simple instructions on how to turn it on, mash the gas etc...  I told him, "no problem" he just smirked. Now I know what he was smirking about.  He didn't tell me that it pulls you, I thought you pushed them like lawn mowers. I know now! I cranked "THE BASTARD"(it's new name) up, smirked a little myself, thinking no big deal, this will be easy. Put on my gardening gloves and  grabbed on and mashed the gas. DID I mention, I mashed it all the way in, as in FULL THROTTLE! The ground I was attempting to till happened to be really hard, so "THE BASTARD" took off skating across the top pulling me behind it going warp one. Finally when I tripped and landed face first ,  my hand let go of the gas and the damn thing stopped.  Thank God I let go before it hit the fence surrounding the pool, I really would have hated explaining to my husband about how I torn down a fence and worse telling dad his tiller is at the bottom of the swimming pool. I knew I should have gotten the Dummies Guide from the library.

 Well anyway I cursed at "The BASTARD" for a few minutes, regrouped and now I have a very nicely tilled flower bed. I just have to ignore that wide strip of chewed up grass across the back yard.